yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm too high and old for this...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
