Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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