Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I am naked and annoyed.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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