Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Green mimosas i think yes
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize