i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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