Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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