i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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