I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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