So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
