My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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