you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
