I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
