Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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