I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
