hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
