I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize