What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
