i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
