How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have feelings that need drinking.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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