meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
