Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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