dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
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No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
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he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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