it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
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Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
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You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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