i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
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The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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