I'm so fucking centered right now
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I love having hate sex.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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