He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize