how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
zippers are such a cool invention
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
