I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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