bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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