did you get engaged???
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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