Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
