That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
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ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
50% drunk capacity currently
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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