If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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