I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
