i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
