im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
