Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
