I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
