I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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