i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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