Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You were trust falling into bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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