My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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