Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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