I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
