Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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