I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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