On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
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