turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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