I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
