ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
