Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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