It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize