but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why do cheetos always look like penises
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
