The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
