i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
