when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
