Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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