Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
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Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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