also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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