I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
