I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
