all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
