two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
