Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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